I Like Parts

I have so many ideas for my next art exhibition but I can’t manage to pick one. It is actually causing me tooth-grinding stress. Each idea has a certain something that makes it feel valid, interesting and worth exploring. Each path requires tons of work though, which is not so easy to find time for. Even the ones that feel simpler and potentially less demanding loom above me, overwhelming swirling clouds with jumbled formulas and hallways to nowhere, mish-moshing into deep shadows and black holes. Or something like that.

I have four folders & a notebook started already with various degrees of research notes, lists and collections of images. I wish I could just print out all of it and staple it to the wall and call the show, “I Couldn’t Decide But At Least I Had Ideas”.

If I were a better painter I would paint certain things. But that is actually quite hard for me to do, to paint things the way I want them to look. I have been working on that, trying to improve my skills, but that takes a lot of time and probably classes I will never take. And to add, now that my vision is declining it is pretty tough to do the small watercolors that always came naturally to me. So, this is what it feels like when things change, when there is less free time, when your body does not always work with you the way you need it to, when you feel interested and willing to explore but unable to focus fully on any one thing.

I really want to saw up  all of the paintings I have made and never shown into small pieces and then build a giant labyrinth or game board with the parts. I m feeling pulled towards working with all of the parts that make the whole. I like parts.

I want to hire an illustrator to paint the things that inspire me. Things like certain books and chocolate cupcakes.  And then I would hire an architect to design a giant candy land looking room where all of the parts could live together in inspirational harmony, well-painted with perfect color compositions and clean lines.

But the fact is that I am left alone, with my various mish-moshing ideas flailing around trying to get themselves a minute on the stage so they can sing a quick ditty and get into the show. But I can’t hear them really because of all the fuss in the dressing room. Do you know what I mean?

This is part of the macro is all I am saying.

This piece is the new and improved “Men About Animals” digitally enhanced watercolor.

 

 

 

 

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